To My Friends
For as much as I would like to forget, there are still so many things I don't remember. I don't remember posting half of this, for example. I've done my best to delete the profane and embarrassing. I don't remember where I left off with some of my most trusted friends. Furthermore, I'm not quite sure which, if any of them, would like to remember that for me or at all. I've tried to individually make amends with them, as inspired by AA philosophy and demanded by my conscience according to my Christian upbringing. Forgiveness is enough but the "even if.." part still fucks me up. I mean it makes me beyond sad. I am a person who needs to KNOW. It's exhausting to GET to know new people but at this point, I have to recognize these old friends as new people too, people I'm happy have progressed with their lives, yet people who no longer call me to say hello or bother to tell me anything about their lives personally. That's why I knew I ha...