Because the New Yorker Won't Publish It
*Radio fuzz* Person in custody has been yelling in her front yard in her pajamas. She is in decent hygiene but is displaying an erratic temperament responding to officers effusively. Neighbors made the call when she flipped them the bird for ‘not helping’. I am Officer Mayhew of Precinct 4 and have Stevi Alsdorf in transit to Ben Taub Hospital. She is a Bipolar Schizophrenic; lobotomy patient; over. “May I talk to you, officer?” she asked. “All right,” said Mayhew. “I get that I have the right to remain silent, but every other officer I ever had played music for me or let me talk,” said Stevi. “You can talk to me,” Mayhew said. “You guys are so kind. Well, this is important. It involves the Supernatural. Do you watch Supernatural ?” “I used to when I was younger,” said Mayhew. “I’ve seen a few episodes.” “Well,” said Stevi, “Mary Anne was working in a soup kitchen in Philadelphia feeding the homeless. I’m tempted to say ‘doing h...