I'll never ever ever write a poem about the One Who Got Away...psych!

RE: ALWAYS

The radio swears up and down that someone cares.
I spoke with you, months ago now--
I thought...
That was my first mistake.
It's not the end of the world if you don't want to know me anymore,
But it is the end of an Era in my heart,
My sweetest dream.
Why hold onto hopes that will never become reality?
My inner eternal optimist says, "Stop being negative."
The rational asshole says, "Fuck that.  You're bring real. He doesn't give a damn.  Move on."
But...we spoke about the future--
We're supposed to meet at a park.
Was it all a dream? Scam? I'm done with the head games.
I made it all up. It never happened.
He wasn't you,  but he said he COULD be.
Wild goose chases led me back to the Cuckoo's nest.
I'm not crazy. I'm just confused.
Unecessarily.
I hear them talk about "us,"
Misinterpreted gab about nobody. Ha!
You've made it clear as possible without blatantly telling me to fuck off.
I'd almost prefer that--
At least then I could maybe cry,
Run the tear ducts dry and finally
Give up on some teenage fantasy
Turned pipe dream.
I know you're alive at least--
Can't hate you.  I've tried. 
I just wanted to talk with you,
About everything. Nothing.
What's the problem?
Guess it's me.
I'm embarrassing.
Some people like me,
But few find my stroke of madness
Endearing, let alone hospitable,
Myself included.
I'm either awesome,  full of talent and
Strength,  courage, discernment, love...
Or I'm crazy, rude,  unlovable,  too this,
Not enough that,  ahead, behind,
Running too fast or
Standing stock still,
Unable to calculate, acknowledge,
Exactly who I am, what I am, 
Why I love you so much, filled with
Deluded joy at the sound of your name.
I'm a vampire, werewolf, witch, demon,
Angel, goddess of the seasons,
The one who's gone half the year,
Trapped in the pit like poor Persephone.
Mermaid, fairy, blind bard, alien,
Unlikely heroine of my own story.
I need to feel this rift between the
Then and now. I'm growing, learning
To control my thoughts, as well as my
Actions in this life. Love, hate and
Indifference aside, it's a beautiful life
And we will all make it through, 
One fleeting moment at a time.
My best advice to myself is just be.
JUST BE REAL.
JUST HAVE FAITH
That everything is operating
On all planes of our existence, 
According to God's plan. 
SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.

Sincerely, 

I NEVER