Stevi's Storied Life

Manufactured negativity Sent to us by the guilty Hearts which just beat To feed a hungry mind's Eye too clutch to blink Loosen up, have a drink And speak to the person beside you. You want control? Pretend it's a dream. Listen and relay what you know Til you feel your pulse begin to slow Into a steady rhythm. Now you're living! They smile at you-- That's cause for thanksgiving. I'm melting, I'm melting, My heart like thawed chicken; I'm living, I'm living! (It hurts like the Dickens)... Your hate heart is gone now You've always been different. That person who said that is No longer present. Don't let your energy flow out of you Tinged by past woes and remorse, Doubt, regret-- It comes back folded into a note to self-- That's a BET! Plain as day Rock.. Paper... WU-TANG! 👐 Know your name and hold your own But the way is already set in stone 'Remain twisted to become whole.'

https://open.spotify.com/user/mzubv2jjasl5u5v2k4zkxj3zn/playlist/4wtGJUnPhgejITXAvc9212

MLK DAY.

He fucked a consenting 15 year old. He sang "I Believe I Can Fly" on the Space Jam soundtrack (first CD I ever bought--I used to choreograph dance routines to it as a lil chub...my dad thot it was funny I could eat a plate sized CFS @ age 10). I consented to technically statutory rape at 16. At 15 my cousin and I jointly made out with her common law step brother.  I wanted to wait for marriage but hormones made me spend more time humping my mattress than anything else. "Why don't you go hump the WALL, you LEZBO!?" -another cousin I'm deeply sorry to all my girlfriends whose moms made them let me sleep over...I had zero shame and it was honestly so habitual I didn't think enough of it NOT to weird them out once I figured they were asleep. The guy I had sex with at 16 was 22. The weird half steppin was 26. Ohhhhh the fuck noooooo. I mean it's gross to think of my male counterparts banging teens NOW but at the time I was personally grateful for the ...

I never watched the show as a kid. I actually just binged it with my cousin over the past couple months. As a Harry Potter loyalist and strict Big 3 kid--Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Disney Channel--I never really got the opportunity to understand the hype about it. It was one of those shows the girls fought the Pink Ranger war over. Now I know why I didn't like it. About magic: it does come from pain like they say on the show Magicians. Here's a screenshot detailing what really made me initially in this life mistrust all who cared for me. If you knew me as a child, this makes sense. I get the sense that this was performed in various ways. Others were beaten while being told they were loved. Be careful who you're dealing with indeed for you know not what they remember for themselves (I'd wager more often than not though relying on children's memories to be faulty is the majority of the problem). https://www.instagram.com/p/BshMz2Rl8J6/?utm_source=ig_share...

Dear Diary, I accidentally posted a picture of my boobs on Instagram last night. Everyone thinks I'm a douche or worse...a double douche dude. I wish my words could undo that. I just want everyone to be happy. For real . I'm not particularly inspired at the moment, obviously, but I think I really am done here. I'm tired. Live, .