Stevi's Storied Life

There ’s a life we lead behind closed eyes,  A place we likely leave this world from when we die But find ourselves to our surprise riding a bus up Highway 83, Somewhere outside Abilene, drifting in and out of sunlit sleep. If it feels like that scene only in dreams and movies, Where you end up in a bright white room, and even if it’s Green, it’s a good idea to pinch yourself, kick a wall,  Throw a fit! (It’s too bad you can’t fly).  Ask them to call someone else to come pick you up,  Take you home, bec...

For as much as I would like to forget, there are still so many things I don't remember. I don't remember posting half of this, for example. I've done my best to delete the profane and embarrassing. I don't remember where I left off with some of my most trusted friends. Furthermore, I'm not quite sure which, if any of them, would like to remember that for me or at all. I've tried to individually make amends with them, as inspired by AA philosophy and demanded by my conscience according to my Christian upbringing. Forgiveness is enough but the "even if.." part still fucks me up. I mean it makes me beyond sad. I am a person who needs to KNOW. It's exhausting to GET to know new people but at this point, I have to recognize these old friends as new people too, people I'm happy have progressed with their lives, yet people who no longer call me to say hello or bother to tell me anything about their lives personally. That's why I knew I ha...

I'm lonely. I'm an insomniac. We all know this. It's a bloody miracle I graduated from grade school. I spent the first 18 years of my life sleep deprived. As soon as i got the chance to "tune in turn off and drop out" I did. In the name of sleeping my days away in peace without some squirrelly little fucktard in my FYS (first year seminar) running in screaming and throwing my alarm clock down the hallway of our dorm. Jesus. Then I got back home and had to deal with my mom banging down my door, WORRIED about my lack of productivity. After that, I had to deal with nurses doing the same thing and demanding my blood at that. You can see my frustration. I'm probably doomed to join the ranks of Waffle House employees at some point in my future but you know what? That's okay with me. What's wrong with making enough to live on and just enjoying my free time as I please? Nothing really.. I just miss people I don't even know anymore. Making new frien...

Check out this new post on my original sister blog here... Film and Literature: Unfiltered: When DID Harry Meet Sally? https://artfilmandlit.blogspot.com/?m=1

*wiggles eyebrows * A post shared by legally Stevi Rae Alsdorf (@stevi_rae2008) on Jan 29, 2017 at 10:50am PST