Stevi's Storied Life

Really? We're using phrases like these already? No thank you. You're gorgeous and financially stable so I assume every bitch wants to jump your bones and why pick me, a nice-enough looking technically disabled person for your significant other? Why would anyone in your shoes? I don't want to sit here and listen to another person put me down for my situation. My situation is the result of trauma I needed to sort out before I could choose a major and graduate, not to mention become the perfect woman in the process because fuck if I'm not allowed to take my sweet ass time. It's my life. I kick myself enough as it is for not being there yet and I don't need another soul to boss me into doing anything but what I know I need to do and poking holes in what I WANT to do with my life, mocking me for "my 'plans'" saying you don't care when you just told me you loved me while you were INSIDE OF ME. Goddamn it Russel Brand. I'm a fool. I'...

https://youtu.be/IjzXO4ixrsE The worst thing you can do to someone is let them think that you're their only one when you're feeling like you need to be overly affectionate in the physical sense with others besides yours truly. I love my friends and fam dearly but I limit it to admiration and sentimentality. #lilithinscorpio

https://youtu.be/Mb2KcgbkepY "We can't go on together with suspicious minds" -The King I have trust issues. I think most of us do. I have the hardest time believing any man could ever be fully loyal (by my standards to me) while remaining tranaparently honest with both me and himself. Today isn't the issue. I won't blame technology and the ease of use of x-rated images and videos online. That's not cheating...unless it's live and on a one-on-one basis--I'm talking camgirls. If you're paying her, kindly go fuck yourself without me in your life. I've been a cam girl and I may reprise my old post I took down about my experience there after this brief message but my attitude has changed slightly on that front since I wrote about it two years ago. Anyway, I'd like to provide y'all with a list of things that are not penetrative sex that I still consider cheating (you know, for all you rationalizers and loophole liars). It goes like this...

It's ridiculous what I go through trying to add images to posts.

Look...I'm not sure exactly who this is for so I guess its just for me So I'm going to tell you the truth because I can't stop worrying About all the stress of being monogamous with a beautiful man Who says he loves me but then again how could he when I can't trust him fully When I start asking you the setup for the glaring omissions, real or imagined How would you ever be happy with me for the rest of your life? Why would you make me your wife if I can't just take you at your word Without leaning over a ledge of doubt and hanging darkly on every unheard syllable? All but hoping with a belly full of woe that I'm right not just crazy But even though I know that it's definitely the latter, Please keep asking me what is the matter til I tell off my fear on you And hold me til it gets too much and I'll let you go willingly when I need to Even though my inner child wants to clutch your chest and never, ever let go; Because the world is an eventfu...

Professor mimes swimming, explaining this week’s assignment Opera sounds through the wall and all I can think about is the Past, how I used to raise my voice in dramatic song, give that Pitch vibrato. Pitches love vibrato. Now breathy air invades the Space between the waves, the notes slip out of tune, they sound Kind of blue like a scratchy old vinyl record spinning somberly at Thirty-three rotations per minute. Spins as life does, in circles and Cycles, doomed to repeat until the DJ has mercy and graces your Ears with the next movement. All I ask is that He plays something Danceable, something fun, something that breathes life into this Tired body, this weary spirit who longs to crack this hardened shell Around her heart, swim like a fish through shadows deep, salty Ocean hurting wounds to heal, back into the light. But alas, the Light only touches the surface and that’s not where I wish to dwell.

My man was arrested this afternoon on pot related charges at a place called Hippie Hollow of all things. They let me go. Probably because I'm a "white girl." They arrested him because he's brown and his middle name doesn't rhyme with anything in English. Oh. My. Sweet ever loving Jesus. Stop. Just stop. You can be naked but you can't drink or smoke yah ok... Fuck me.

I can't read narratives anymore... I just picked up a book, Couldn't find where I'd left off Thirty pages in and put it away. I say I want to write books but I prefer to say my thoughts, Have it out and be done. I can keep adlibbing in the flow-- People prefer to hear a speaker Anyway because no one has the Attention span to read a book (A narrative storybook?) These days Anyway, except your mom-- Well, MY mom--and maybe a select Few strange elementary age kids Who are like I was then--by the time Harry Potter had ended that was the Only thing I just *needed* to read. You could chide me for saying "Your Mom" jokes and all the Chodes could chime in__but Authors are about their money And books usually confuse the Mentally ill into casting Themselves into shoes That don't quite fit But may as well have been Some custom-made Jimmy Choos In the gaudiest jewel encrusted Style imaginable for a nineteen Year old girl who would rathe...

A place begins like any other... An office plaza--a maze of ordinary cubicles-- a hospital, a simply put floor with doors and wings, lettered wings and numbered floors and the rooms to the pine boxes lettered and numbered. Our bracelets now barcodes and new millennium coded--always forget what those are called...not RFID. Lucky I have small hands and I can sneakily  allude to a dream I've just awakened from with a golf pencil during quiet time--was I Anastasia? Why do they call it anaesthesia? Was I Lewis Carroll? Why am I a fellow Sufferer of tunnel vision migraines on Lithium? Why would he make his heroine  A young girl if he hadn't felt female? I've seen things I can't make new as a Woman named Stevi Rae Alsdorf But I love now like I never could. I have the makings of a real life now, Yet I still crave real adventure. A man called Thomas Gray, like the poet, Who looked like Morgan Freeman told me at my favor...

Check out @SummerKinard’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/SummerKinard/status/992173538646913025?s=01 My cousin Summer graduated from Southwestern University (my would-be alma mater) where she met her husband, Andrew. They moved to NC thereafter and she graduated from Duke Divinity. She raises five children and writes novels. Andrew is a physicist and computer scientist. They are excellent people...v. orthodox. :)