Stevi's Storied Life

 “Cat Men” Paisley couldn’t contain her laughter as she gawked at the contents of her sister’s freezer. A lifelike albeit sparkly pink dildo laid atop a carton of Bluebell mint chocolate chip.  “Seriously, Rory? The freezer?” Paisley said. “What?” said Aurora, seizing the icy tallywacker and wagging it in Paisley’s face. “I like to keep it fresh.” She returned it to its perch atop the ice cream and pulled out a bottle of tequila.  “Okay, let’s take a quick shot for luck. You’re going to kill it tonight, Paisley.”  “I don’t know. Last time I performed, no one laughed. Am I funny?” “You make me laugh,” Aurora said, holding up her shot glass. “To my witty and charming little sister, may the God of comedy smile upon you tonight!” Paisley followed suit and said, “To my lonely, hypersexual older sister, may you get a damn boyfriend so you can stop keeping Mr. Sparkles in the freezer!”  “Hey, Mr. Sparkles really knows how to treat a lady. Don’t let his lack of a ...

  Put cheer in my cup and buckle up For the next rhyme-- SETT is the name of Death, And matches, they say, are made in Heaven; But fire is the Devil's only friend. Chaos reigns on Mercury and Freddie wasn't ready For this jock itch. Don't call anyone a bitch And try to switch to just being human. "Better" is a lie and there's always a tie for brilliance, God willing, and Freedom ring prettier, please. I'm not here to tease anyone for their self-- Be: a mantra for when you have to try not to think Out of remorse or self-conscion; smile and listen. I'm trying not to nod my head off the face of the  Planet cause damnit, we're home. See your shoals Hold our phones Chiodos said baby wouldn’t last a minute On the creek and my girl got ink about it. Dry up the nasty old swamps And make the mussels atrophy Lying beside a box fan on a porch, useless  As lost soles of old shoes like crawdads in mud– Beneath the floor sink our essential-oiled feet into soil, ...

 My mom just reminded me of a song I had long forgotten--I got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart *clap clap* / down in my heart; "STOP in the name of the Lloyd!"- Mister Stupid  We don't want to step on your ABC gum at the movie theater or anywhere. So I love my mom. Meanwhile, we are both in our pajamas at 3 pm drinking coffee and the sky is grey and it begins to lightly rain as we talk about family. Her youngest brother's wife's sister is dying of brain cancer. Mom's Irish twin just passed away last December. They were born a year and a day apart. 'An Irish Blessing' is the song we always sang at the end of the year in choir. 'May the Road rise to meet you/ may the wind be always at your back/ may the sun shine warm upon your face/ the rains fall soft upon your fields/ and until we meet again/ until we meet again/ may God hold you in the palm of His hand... She'd said she had been crying recently. It's March 16, John 3:16 'For God ...

       Next time Goodson's in Tomball runs out of chicken, they could consider serving bear quesadillas because Goodson Middle School's mascot is the grizzlies and someone brought my cousin Greg one to butcher while I was staying with my Aunt Paula. We just lost Aunt Wendy. She had her first child at age seventeen, having been born herself in 1959. I once asked her how she'd met Summer's biological father and she told me that he had been a couple years younger than her out at a local discoteque.       She'd told everyone else that the father had been Italian; my guess is that she'd just never heard a Greek accent before. Next time I go to Manny's Café on Highway 6 and West Rd I hope they have fresh dolmaldes (stuffed grape leaves) and baklava. You know, Summer managed to incorporate singing the scaramouche part of Bohemian Rhapsody into my senior graduation toast at church since she had been in town visiting and kindly volunteered to serve as...

 

 

  I read The Lovely Bones back  in grade school. I listened to the song 'Innocent Bones' by Iron and Wine off The Shepherd's Dog album. I read my cans of Coke and Dr Pepper and phosphoric acid; I believe Coke was invented before sliced bread, but most of that contains ferrous orthophosphate. So does the noodles.  I watched a YouTube video about the history of Coca-Cola's nativity. If you care to know what I can hardly dare to type, look no further than Thoughty2 for infinite real talk/ true facts.  https://youtu.be/7Cw7cOx7qPk I bought an issue of Time Magazine entitled ' Innocent .' A human in orange is behind bars with hands behind their back on the cover. All our hands must be tied nonetheless because this is a "free country," the land of opportunity and murder and mass consumption of violence in the media and a blind eye turned toward the real horror is all we've ever won in our endeavor to keep fighting for our 'isn't free'-dum...

  We should be able to have a family consisting of more than one marriage partner legally. Love being love, the times as they have changed, the religious understanding of inheritance being upheld by the government would help us take care of one another versus the crippling expectation of it being the other way around.  The Quran says the son is entitled to 2/3 of the inheritance. The daughter does inherit a third and that is whether or not they are married.  Christians are notorious for divorce. I got it "1 piece at a time," Johnny Cash...hehe.  We like openness and sexual fluidity nowadays and gay marriage is legal.  Housing cost versus hourly income being as it is, nobody working for minimum wage can get by alone without government assistance or a side hustle of some kind, be it considered criminal or not. I know too many cam girls with apartments. It's okay to do that but it's lonely as hell. It's okay to sell drugs if you ask me, but it's illegal and someb...

 We're all royal We're all human Never going to leave the Earth again So be loyal to the pavement Buy a truck door from the scratch and dent Feel the black tar 'lectromagma Your feet absorb it like a hobbit Sell your old clothes Find your otro Trust your gollum to lead you to the ring of fire Johnny Cash fell in Pick up notes the people teach you things It's not over when thick ladies sing Harry's Krishna Potter's crayfish We don't owe Nobody anything I'm insulted you're not for me But it's okay to run away from me Be like Trogdor not Aladdin That guy's magic runner's fading Go to Hogwarts or Alaska Yuletide joy it in Nebraska But that's Star Wars and I'm tired of not being home again Still terrrestrial not too extra Retake Intro to Philosophy Hooked on phonics Hide the chronic Screw the pooch on television Call the police Get em shut down Feel your bruises Make to do list Unclone dinosaur desktop  Buy more Dramamine for vertigo R...

 ATTN is an attack or an address TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN an omen Ignorance is an affront  maybe not bliss like negligence I mean negligée ...sp? Psycho transcription of thoughts I haven't finished {Let me let me let me} Could be admonition I might buy another dictionary afterall, Machine Gun Kelley, From the Touch Screen computer kiosk We're in a relationship now, congrats on being married (me and the computer, ok, radioheads)???? Commissary Comments vary Comet tastes like gasoline and it's green  like the suit I'm wearing & I'm here all day  watching movies giving up on not caring or sharing; losing my ability  for saying "never seen it." Take it away the negative wei So plucking eyebrows hurts to do everyday Don't ever have to do it again Know me outside in So you are my friend And I know you've got my number... Pay it FWD