Splooge

I just figured out that this blog is really just a face upon which to unload the products of my mental masturbation.

Ahhh. My inner mother hates me for saying that. My actual mother would make a face. It was hilarious til I tried to take it further. This is what I'm talking about.

Does anyone else get engaged to the connections they make between core concepts explained in differing fields and feel special for knowing that it's all the same but you don't want to talk about it because you can't make up your mind about what's what when it comes to whatever you're drawing parallels with? You don't want to be wrong, crazy or unoriginal OR rob others of the chance to come up with it on their own so they can feel special too? Do you do it anyway in the hopes of cashing in or really helping people realize they're just normal? I think making people feel normal is a more worthy cause than making them feel special.

Okay, so that being said, we all have the power to search any thought we have and see if Jeeves pops a boner for us. That isn't me. Ugh. I'm funnier in writing. I like myself here better. Mmm. I just came.

What was I saying? I get engaged to these connections because I don't want to commit and have to end up divorcing them completely because they're really fun to think about, these wild thoughts are so much fun to dance with in the night time, foolproof bullshit to get off on, everlasting gobstoppers of concepts rife for the overanalyzation. Significance is such a turn-on. Being right gets me so hard. Ugh. I literally can't. Anal? Fuck me like I'm your spirit animal, white girl. Now I'm dead.

Okay. I like people. But I hate myself. I like myself. But I hate you more. Fuck that. I only hate pedophiles and rapists and bigots. So murderers...sometimes we can't blame them, huh?

The train's a runaway now. A lot of folks say things like, "I hate whores!" That autocorrected to "whites." lmao...ahem. Incidentally, most whores and sluts start behaving that way for the sad reasons I'm pretty sure Everlast made us all aware of but we still forget...and so do the women who become that...that was the point. Regain control long removed by doing exactly what that fucker who hurt you would love to pay to see, no doubt.

So when you're molested you have two options--you can be a slut or maybe a lesbian, but eventually you recognize you'll never have a healthy monogamous relationship with an unscathed member of either sex, so there are some "woke" whores who embrace that and capitalize on their sexuality because money really is power, freedom to be your own means of production, selling yourself to avoid being owned, honestly? Makes sense. Still hurts.

I wish women and men could all have a sex change for a year and see what it's like for the other half. I wish we had the capacity to maintain that level of empathy for one another without losing ourselves in the process. Trust that you won't lose yourself, that you can't, that that's usually our problem as well as our solution.

So consider the concept engagement between astrology and Freudian concepts. I thought about inviting the Myers Briggs personality type schema in for a mênage, but I've already scratched that off my bucket list and I don't wanna make anyone sad or complicate things just to seem hip. Okay.

Prepare for some basic shit. Astrologically speaking, I've come to focus on the self in the three main terms of sun sign, rising sign and moon; My pal J Fred's obviously considered this Pink Freud shit too. You can watch him sing about it in that YouTube link I shared yesterday. Anyway...he called me out. I feel stupid drawing potentially wrong parallels between sun, moon, rising and id, ego and superego. So...do you think you can tell?

Moon.                      Id.
Sun.                          Ego.
Rising.                     Superego.

Look, I like that show "Slutever." I appreciate the shit out of women like Carly, which is also my sister's name and I never talk about her because she's a Virgo but also Iliza Schlesinger and my short-lived college roommate, Chae, for being honest but more importantly, self-aware enough to see shit in themselves and help wake me up about my own shit when I've needed it the most. I appreciate women who can put other women at ease or at least send them on their way, or set them straight so to speak. We help each other heal this way. I'm not a lesbian but I also won't steal your boyfriend. You can't really steal people. But you can ruin them for others by being someone they happen to get along with better or like more. And that's not your fault.

My sun sign is antisocial as hell. I'm a Capricorn. Homicidal thoughts. Objective hatred. No fear. Driving my pile up this mountain one way or another. Bitch.

My rising sign is Gemini. I'm so nice in personable and everybody likes me as long as they're strangers. I wanna cap myself for being so obnoxious sometimes. And inconsiderate.

My moon is in Libra, and that's my saving grace. I am my own mediator. I'm a natural born diplomat and mom of two because I just want us all to get along and be quiet so I can judge myself and everything else in relation to me, so I can get over myself long enough to do what I really should be doing...studying.

There's far more to us than that but this sort of divide and conquer approach to understanding ourselves really does a lot of good. If you're busy dissecting your own traits then you won't have time to think about fucking other people over. Try it sometime. Tell a friend. Btw, I saw two snickers bars in the line at Target the other day. One said "basic" and the other said "shady." I laughed and laughed. The end...is a beginning...it's a chicken and egg chain and somebody needs to suck one. Bite the big one. Iunno. Look...I'm not supposed to say that.

Love,

Your Mom

P.S. I'm bad at ending things without a disclaimer (I love you can be a disclaimer). Which me should hang up first? Kbye. Ughh I just remembered what I titled this. Sorry.