Love
What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. Seriously, don't fucking hurt me. Sadly someone always seems to get hurt though because people are constantly changing and our ideas of love are evolving each day. Whether you choose to stay with someone until you die and hope to evolve as a unit or you're more of a restless wanderer, never settling down, you've experienced love before. Everyone craves it in some form or fashion, like it or not. It's vital to our well being. We feel incomplete without it because people are wired to crave community and companionship. This is a musical explanation of how my idea of love has evolved through the years.
First I thought love was like this:
It was simple, innocent, unconditional. It meant family and friends and maybe even a purple dinosaur because I still wasn't aware of their extinction. I just knew I liked them.
Then I got a little older and I thought it was more like this:
Let me be your wings? Are you fucking kidding me? Sprout your own wings, lady. All jokes aside, this is a type of love that is very codependent. It's a love where the handsome prince comes and sweeps you off your feet and you never have to make another decision for the rest of your life except maybe whether you want a DJ or a cover band to play at your wedding.
For a while there, it went like this:
Don't get me wrong, I love Rent. I feel like I've lived it in some ways. I love everyone. I've been in a relationship with a person who was born HIV positive. Shit, I kissed a tranny once at Numbers. She was even black. Gasp! That's not the point though. This is also an unhealthy perspective on relationships. I'd die without you? Please don't. You just go on living and be happy. I can't control my destiny? That's a very fatalistic approach to life. It's all about choices. Nothing is set in stone.
Then it just got fucking depressing:
This is one of my favorite songs of all time and under the right conditions it still makes me cry. As beautifully evocative as the song is, this isn't the way I want to experience love. It should not be a war or a competition or even a game. I don't know about you, but when it comes to love, I want to learn more than how to shoot at someone who outdrew me.
But I still hope it can be like this:
Home is wherever I'm with you. It's perfect. I want the kind of love where we can go on adventures together and apart but when we come back together, we know we're home. We're safe. We're loved. I want that feeling to last even when we're apart. I want that level of trust and friendship. That unconditional love, but a little more grown up than purple dinosaur love. This kind of love isn't imaginary or extinct though. It's real and it's true and I'm holding out for it.
First I thought love was like this:
Then I got a little older and I thought it was more like this:
For a while there, it went like this:
Then it just got fucking depressing:
But I still hope it can be like this:
Home is wherever I'm with you. It's perfect. I want the kind of love where we can go on adventures together and apart but when we come back together, we know we're home. We're safe. We're loved. I want that feeling to last even when we're apart. I want that level of trust and friendship. That unconditional love, but a little more grown up than purple dinosaur love. This kind of love isn't imaginary or extinct though. It's real and it's true and I'm holding out for it.