Stevi's Storied Life

    When I actively watch porn, I feel as if I’ve been staring at my own dump for too long. There’s something almost beautiful about it but then I take a whiff and acknowledge the fact that I’m literally admiring feces. Google reveals images I’d like to wash my brain out with soap over. Why are the women all so shrill, the fetishes incest and otherwise perverted, disgusting, and immoral in disturbingly unhot ways? Why are people engaging in creating this shit? Seriously, I want to know. That’s not why I decided to masturbate on camera for money, essentially becoming a virtual prostitute. It’s what I learned by thinking it would be a fun and exciting new way to make money for myself and get over my own alleged and self-acknowledged hang-ups. I had already recorded videos of myself cumming solo to avoid the dreaded internet search and enjoyed getting off on my own smut. Why not share it with others who might be tired of the same old gar...

LOVE ME! Yikes...I'm not a real DJ and apparently that's not always a surefire good thing ANYWAY . I just liked Pirate Radio & I listen to the radio itself whether I like it or not until I remember I have CDs. My ride hasn't a conventional audio input jack. It requires the sort of cord with both red and white connector heads. Haha! You mean connector thingies? Yup. Likely more accurate. Anyways tha t's just my YouTube mix, which is highly indicative *of who I am* as a person, ok? I was going to say something else. I was told by a doctor three years ago that I may have thyroid cancer. I went my v. of Heisenberg. I still need to make a radiology appointment. There's more...I haven't quit smoking 🚬 I'm a fool. I really forgot what I was going to say. Pray for me.

It's no secret that we all end up feeling disillusioned by love at some point in our lives, at many points during our lives. This happens inevitably. We all get hurt. Suck it up. "Life's tough--get a helmet!" Messy bun/ rap song/ DEAL WITH IT. (Bitch you better work). Yada yada. *flips bird* I think this disillusionment for me, personally, romantically speaking at least, comes from a thing the Scientologists refer to as 'childhood trauma.' I took their personality test one day while bumming around Austin; they drew me a chart. Ok...so that's another thing most of us have in common--trauma. We can't all be Bubble Boy. So I have trust and abandonment issues. So I absolutely suck to be with. Great. Better break out the lily binder I got from rehab, work on my dialectical and cognitive behavior skills because emotional retardation doesn't foster compatibility with shit anyone! Not even Tom Cruise. Not even Ron Paul. Maybe THAT'S my devil's ...

You can stop picturing the devout bumping cleanlies on a pile of robes now. I hate human nature when it comes to sex. I hate it because it sets us up for further ruin in a world that will not allow us the freedom to bask in the true pleasure of it as it was intended for us. When we're having sex the rest of the busy, demanding world slips away until one of us remembers. This awareness that we are not all there is is usually signaled by an utterance containing the word "cum" because once it clicks that we've been doing a thing for too long without some almost material reward, we don't see the point in continuing. "You're still horny? Well my dick is soft. Where's the lube? Oh well. Work in the morning. I'll just jack off on the toilet before you wake up." WOW... I love sex. Sure I do. My first few times were pretty messed up but it didn't really feel ruined for me until I started having it on purpose/ on the regular. That's when ...

What are you pushing that button for ? And for WHAT?! https://youtu.be/xsksWR8uTDQ Watch this clip from Lost and focus on the now & what you learned about democratic philosophy in school.  I'd tell you what to think but wouldn't that defeat the purpose of this exercise? All I'm going to say is that this is exactly why I've been leery of holding a job for TOO LONG before finishing school and KNOWING what I'm doing/ doing it on purpose because I want to and it makes sense in accordance with my experiences in the workplace, school and the world at large. Push the buttons you need to to bring home the bacon but don't get so narrow mindedthat you forget what's outside .

👽 -Drinking "monkey's blood" as a toddler -Holding up an entire chest-of-drawers plus TV set when I locked myself in my parents bedroom and pulled out a drawer & the whole thing was going to crush me--I held it all up until my mom hot the door unlocked. -Getting stung by a yellowjacket at age 10 -Being shocked by an electric horse fence at 14 or so -Shigella at 15--it's like the scene in the Santa Clarita diet where DB is barfing everywhere only it's coming out both ends...mostly the rear end. -Various near death traumatic experiences like almost drowning in the ocean, car crashes, knowing too many dark things. Forgive my give-it-all-away title but I just watched the first two Harry Potter movies with my cuzzins and this type of stuff is the stuff that makes and breaks us. These things bring out the magic in us. Like in Deadpool, how the evil doctor uses torture to mutate people. I should add: -Spending over a day in jail -Psychiatric comm...

I hate when people have this attitude like, " I had to walk to school fifteen miles uphill both ways through the snow so YOU should suffer too!" By 'people' I mean over fifty somethings, the gen-Xers and the baby boomers mostly. This is where we see most of this problem occurring and forget analyzing why or psychoanalyzing your Uncle Terry for a second. I've had the unfortunate task of navigating relations with too many aunts and uncles from this decade of bigoted butthurt broke down and thus exponentially more self righteous goons we've got on our hands. In case you're wondering, I'm not telling you because they'll waste more time and spout off negative vibes trying to go there just because it's unfair and they need to demand their rightful discount they lived five or six long decades and some change to deserve. Gen Y has its own issues but I admire them for keeping them under wraps--their ability to adjust and accept all their crotchety pi...

Outside of violating the 10 commandments (which often need to be violated especially in the case of honoring the mother and father because a lot of people have exceedingly unreliable and/or abusive parents)... Children are constantly abused. Yelled at, put down for not knowing better, spanked, beaten and through all the tears when you're the little one there's really little to no difference how that abuse is internalized/experienced depending on the form of the abuse itself. It rears its ugly head in our romantic relationships, friendships, work lives, school lives, sex lives...and how we utilize sex as "therapy" for as little as we understand it. We take it upon ourselves to engage in behaviors we normally wouldn't hoping it'll help us get over something we had no control over. We have sex with other women to get over our want for a man who just isn't there, we have threesomes to prove we're not the jealous type or a closeted lesbian; we do drugs t...

-How small the world is -How alone you can feel in spite of and sometimes exactly because of that -My need for approval Duh. Well adjusted people don't try this hard. I can't get over the fact that I'm on disability for a mental disorder I may not even really have. The reason I want to study psychology is to help others like me through a system they were likely thrown into against their will and best wishes for themselves. I figured I'd end up in a place like that someday. I knew as a teenager who had cried way too much for seemingly no reason or over little things I should've brushed off. I was picked on hard as a kid. I don't mean the other kids were shitty to me, like really nasty, but I was always singled out for something or other. I was advanced but not quite advanced enough for the gifted and talented program, which made me feel bad because I felt left out of their meetings even though I was grouped with all of them. I had to watch them go off like...

This is Theo name short for the masculinized version of Magrathea. I took hwy 42 North. It was dope af. *brushes shoulders off* He lived outside a taco shop where he ate dumpster tacos I guess. If he's your pet I'm sorry. I was trying to get to Roswell, my place of conception. I'm the age my parents were when my mom got knocked up with me...actually should try again next year to be mathematically correct. Anyhow, *aliens* and besides THAT...just a whole lotta broken ol rusty gas stations!