Lil Attitude Adjustment

I hate when people have this attitude like, "I had to walk to school fifteen miles uphill both ways through the snow so YOU should suffer too!" By 'people' I mean over fifty somethings, the gen-Xers and the baby boomers mostly. This is where we see most of this problem occurring and forget analyzing why or psychoanalyzing your Uncle Terry for a second.

I've had the unfortunate task of navigating relations with too many aunts and uncles from this decade of bigoted butthurt broke down and thus exponentially more self righteous goons we've got on our hands.

In case you're wondering, I'm not telling you because they'll waste more time and spout off negative vibes trying to go there just because it's unfair and they need to demand their rightful discount they lived five or six long decades and some change to deserve.

Gen Y has its own issues but I admire them for keeping them under wraps--their ability to adjust and accept all their crotchety pisses and moans and effectively turn that phrase and land amazing jobs and otherwise get us all thinking is the reason I'm so thankful I have older cousins. I look at all the people in different age groups and I forgot I'd done that. I ducked off about categorical organization of people for fear of being ____-ist. Blankist.

We need to increase minimum wage 👌

We need to stop even subconsciously inflicting our experience upon others. Sharing is NOT always caring. It can be EXTREMELY unfun.

No, Uncle Terry--you don't have to show my boyfriend your room filled with trash bags of meticulously catalogued porn on VHS tapes and declare with a prideful little admonition of a smirk that, "There's no kid stuff" before ushering him into the garage to behold your stacks on stacks of dated Hustlers and completely disregard my "BINDERS FULL O' WOMEN!" joke because I am one. (I've changed Uncle Joe's name to Terry to protect his identity). Now that type of thing falls under the umbrella I refer to as "benign uncle fuckery" and it's beside the point but while it's hilarious, it's also incredibly sad.

I want to live in a world where my poor uncle doesn't have to make that distinction, man.

Stop molesting children. #MAKEUNCLESGREATAGAIN

The butthurt is the fallout and the negative vibes are the radiation you're covered in, carrying around, contaminating every one else's minds and ruining our lives with rules upheld by mere stubbornness and an unwillingness to think critically about a word they've just said.

First of all, we get that unless you live on top of a hill and take the long way home in some mountain town, that story doesn't make a lick of sense whatsoever. A lick? I'm trying to speak their language, you dig, it's called relating.

But why did you say it? You said it to distract me from your impending "no" of some sort. It is a colloquialsm used to shut down "whining" which is often purest truth draped in an "I can't hold it I'm gonna pee my PANTS!" tone.

I have to pee right now. I'm losing focus. People lose focus when they're distracted by external influences like bladders, which is internal medicine. Go call Aunt Lulu. I love you. Im You can sit with us but you better not kill my vibe. &iwaslike....